she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
We need to rekindle our bromance
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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