He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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