I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Barsexuality is the new black.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
