Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Randomize
