real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm just crazy horny about you
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
me + whiskey = a bad person
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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