writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
