Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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