is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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