I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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