Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
