Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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