So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
