oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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