would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Randomize
