It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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