i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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