get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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