just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
