Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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