My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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