She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
two words: eviction party
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
