ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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