just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
did you just send me my own nude
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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