I could have mohawked her pubes.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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