I am spending my child support on dildos
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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