Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
