we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
