i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
