just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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