so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
You left your phone here
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