Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
