Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I still have a little drunk in my system
Randomize
