sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
