...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
