sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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