I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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