I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
where am i from again
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
