I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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