i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
