Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
