So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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