did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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