East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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