Plan B is the new Plan A
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
