I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
