No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
