11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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