So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
