No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
