She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
