I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
